Whether you are married or not, it’s no secret that planning a wedding is no walk in the park. In the hustle and bustle of it all, picking invitations, picking plate settings, flower arrangements and so on you will undoubtedly get people telling you what you should and shouldn’t do, even if you don’t ask for their input. Some of these suggestions may be things your inexperienced self didn’t consider, others may be dated traditions. In this day and age, we have drifted from many unnecessary traditions and values no one really considers anymore, that if not practiced, would have shocked a few.
Here are some of the traditions that worked for us…
Wedding dress reveal
My husband didn’t get a peak of my dress. No hint. Nothing. I stuck with this tradition because I wanted it to be a complete surprise. Of course, he has never seen me in a wedding dress so the look on his face on the day of, was priceless. Some people especially in the US have started a new tradition of having a dress reveal before the ceremony to ease the stress and pressure between the bride and the groom. If that sounds like a good alternative go for it. Do whatever you feel comfortable with, like I said, there are no wedding rules.
This was something I always knew for certain I would do. There was no question about it. Once married, I would take my husbands surname. In the present day, it’s becoming common to keep your maiden name or create a double barrel surname. Taking your husbands name is extremely unheard of in Italy. When a couple marries, the woman keeps her maiden name. Some describe it as ‘losing your identity’ however I don’t see it that way. We are uniting as one, forming a family and most importantly, my children and I will have the same surname.
In some cultures, wearing a wedding band is not required and in some modern couples, not essential. However, we both fully agreed on this and honestly, something we didn’t even need to discuss.
…and here are some traditions we didn’t stick with:
Maid of honor and best man
We decided to skip this tradition as it’s not a usual practice in Italy. Instead, we had two witnesses (one member from each of our families) who signed the papers at our registry wedding in the UK. We also have a big group of friends who we are equally close to, so in a way, made decision making a tad less stressful.
We didn’t sleep apart the night before
Sorry if this offends anyone but as we had already been living together for the past three and a half years, I didn’t see this as a crucial procedure. The morning of, I would be getting ready at his parents house and he would be getting ready at his sisters house across the street. The morning of, we woke up together and discussed what we expected and went over some last minute details. We listed the people we couldn’t wait to see as we had relatives flying in the night before and the morning of and hadn’t had the chance to see yet. This was such a special moment that I will forever hold close to my heart. An intimate moment we shared just the two of us before the storm and swarm of people arrived. Over an espresso in our robes, we had a quick sheet mask facial and made sure we didn’t kiss goodbye as the next time we would be kissing, would be at the aisle.
The grooms attire
Everyone says that you shouldn’t see what one another is wearing on the big day and although I desperately I didn’t want my husband to see my wedding dress which he was completely in favour of, he however wanted me to assist him in picking his tuxedo. This was fine by me as this was ultimately his decision.
One word of advice, stay true to yourself and your relationship. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t feel as if you HAVE to do it just because others do. There are no set in stone wedding rules. Make your own 🙂
Sincerely, Stephanie x
P.S. By no means do I intend to offend anyone’s traditions or values that they stick by. I respect everyone’s decisions.